Abuse Situations 29- Put Downs and Bad Mouthing

Another abusive incident he put me through was when he told me I had a mustache. I was at work and he showed up to see me. He was leaving and I walked out to his car with him that was parked by the dumpster. He was sitting in the car and I was standing outside with the sun shining down on my face. He looked at me and said, “You have a mustache.” I said, “That’s not very nice.” He replied, “Well I thought because you took care of your hair and your eyebrows that you would take care of that too.” I told him I thought it was rude of him to say that and he said I took it the wrong way and it was just a joke. Anytime my feelings would get hurt he would say I was sensitive, ignore what I was saying, or tell me it was somehow my fault. It’s a typical narcissistic tactic.

I'm trying to grow a mustache like my dads!

I can remember multiple occasions where Dick bad mouthed people very close to him. He would say that his brother and sister in law are just average people and he wouldn’t like living that way, but I guess they are fine with it. He would say that all they do is talk shit about people and he doesn’t like that, yet that’s all he does! He said his sister in law was kind of a backstabber, he likes her, but she would always defend his ex. I love both his brother and his sister in law. They were always extremely supportive of me. His brother would actually call me to talk about issues he was going through to get advice. Dick would say things about his niece and nephews and would compare them to his child. They are children; they don’t need to be compared to anyone! They were some of the most loving kids in the world. I would do their homework with them and go have lunch with them! Dick had absolutely nothing good to say about his mother or his father. I heard about the abuse both of them had done to him as child, but I saw firsthand his dad was trying to make up for some of his past mistakes. He constantly told me that all they wanted from him was his money and he doesn’t give a shit about them. His dad gave him a dog for free, so obviously if he only cared about money he would have made him pay. I was never around his mom to see her efforts and all I heard was bad things about her, so I have nothing to support her on. Although, his ex-did tell me that his mother would live off of him, but she was very helpful around the house and with his child. She said Dick would just treat her like garbage. His ex-lived in the same house with them, I did not, so I didn’t see it firsthand like she did. I did hear him call her a cunt on multiple occasions though. He also talked shit about his grandma and his aunt, saying they just made him feel guilty telling him that he had to help support his dad because he had cancer. He supposedly didn’t want to help him though. His grandma and aunt are some of the sweetest people ever. I don’t share this to make his family mad at him, but rather to show that it doesn’t matter if you are family or not. This is normal behavior for narcissists. They talk bad about everyone to make themselves look better because they want to be superior to everyone.

Not only did he just talk bad about his ex’s and his family, but he also talked bad about his friends. He always told me that he had no true friends that they just used him for his money. That was back in the day, I’d assume because he really doesn’t have the money he tries to pretend he does. He told me that his best friend used to live with him for free and drink on his tabs at the bar. He made it clear that everyone only liked when he drank because they could take advantage of him. The only reason his best friend supposedly has the job he does was because of him and that if it wasn’t for him giving him deals he wouldn’t even have his job still. He convinced me that absolutely everyone that was part of his life past or present was a bad person. I’m a very trusting person and because he was my boyfriend I always tried believing him. It wasn’t always very easy, but he is definitely a good manipulator.

He would always tell me that the company he used to work for fucked him over. They made him pay for a program that was used for advertising for their company. They told him they would help him pay for half, but then ended up making him pay for it all. One of my friends works at his old place of employment and said that was not the truth at all. He said that Dick actually ended up screwing the company over. He also asked me to co-sign on a truck for him in the winter of 2017. I told him that I couldn’t because if something happened and he couldn’t pay for his car I only had my income from Lefty’s to pay both car payments. He ended up getting mad and said that he did so much for that company and they just fuck him over. He also does advertising for his old employer and he would constantly brag to me how much money he was making off them, screwing them over. It’s a pretty shitty thing to do to someone who you consider a “friend.”

It was normal for him to talk badly about business owners, business partners, or everyone in general. He constantly told me how his business partner was just negative and that he wasn’t the right person for the job. He said that he had to pay him each month and he barely did anything. Anytime the business was having troubles it was just easier to blame his business partner than taking blame for his mistakes. In reality it was actually because he was jealous that he couldn’t do everything his business partner could do and he needed someone to blame for his own negativity. Any other person that he brought into his company he ended up getting rid of because they either were “too negative” or “didn’t fit the criteria.” Although, I thought it was a little weird that he always had to block those people on social media. I realized it was because he was afraid they were going to “out” him for his bullshit, exactly why he always had me blocked on social media. He got rid of them because they realized how fake he truly was.