18-After Leaving Harassment

When I finally decided to leave the first week was rough. When a person grieves from a narcissistic relationship it normally takes twice as long to heal and move on. We grieve the person we thought they were and then we grieve the person they really are. I can honestly say I missed my ex for maybe a week and I was jealous of his new supply for maybe three weeks. I cried the first week over him and that was it. Anytime I cried after that was due the struggle of overcoming the abuse which I still cry about sometimes. The reason I was jealous of her was because I didn’t have a full understanding of narcissism and I thought she was now going to get the life he promised he was going to give me, but never did. The love, compassion, and family life he pretended he was going to give me for so long. I soon realized that will never happen with anyone he’s with because narcissists will always abuse behind closed doors and pretend to be someone they are not. Her life will soon be the same as mine was just like every other woman he’s abused, which is why I didn’t dwell on it long.

Not only was my ex abusive, but he was also very boring, so there wasn’t much to miss. Our lives consisted of talking about him, his work, and how much money he’s going to make. I also got to watch him sit on his phone 24/7. It only looked great on social media. After leaving I never got the urge to text him or talk to him. I never wanted to go to his house and see him and I defiantly never wished to see him around town. I know some people want to know what there ex is up to and what they are doing on Facebook, but I never got the urge to do that and honestly I feel it’s just a waste of time. I only missed him for a very short time. I did however have a hard time overcoming the person that he had portrayed to be for so long. With educating myself on narcissism I slowly am getting over that too, but there is a ton to learn about narcissism.

It wasn’t until I was out of the relationship that I realized how abused I really was. It all hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know what I was going to do or how I was going to heal from this. I did a ton of research on abuse and narcissism when I realized that I wasn’t just abused, but I was abused by a narcissist. I’m not a doctor, but I’m also not an idiot. Dick shows almost every single sign of a narcissist which I will explain more later on.

After I had posted on Facebook I got endless amounts of support, but I also had his family members harassing me. His mother started commenting on my Instagram and tagging me in Facebook shit. She tried to tell me that this was just a bad break up and I needed to basically get over it because I looked ridiculous! Ok, lady! She was also being manipulated and lied to by him, so thank you for the advice, but it’s not welcome! I prefer to take advice from people who aren’t still in the shit situation. Another one of his family members made a post about me, but I knew she was only trying to protect him. She use to come to my work frequently telling me that I needed to leave him and I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I would agree with her, but at that time I was still stuck. I am not going to share who that is because I truly care about her and don’t want any issues for her. Her comments were probably unnecessary though, but I brushed it off!

Narcissists cannot survive if they do not have followers and enablers. That is what they thrive off of. Narcissist’s family members are so use to dealing with the narcissist’s bullshit and picking up their messes that they don’t see the narcissist for who they truly are. As for my narcissist, everyone was so afraid of him relapsing that they have to try and protect every aspect of his life. Although, little do they know he’s not clean because he’s on steroids. Also drugs and alcohol are a coping mechanism for a narcissist. Narcissism is not curable, but if you cannot even recognize you have narcissism you will most likely go back to your addictions. Although, I had some backlash from his family I also had a great support system and I started getting extra help to heal which is what I needed.