Timeline 1-Before Abuse

This is a book that I have written and turned into a blog. The reason I turned it into a blog is because I want to continue writing about my journey. I have been writing this for the past 2.5 months. You should read blog pages 1-64 in that order for it to all make sense. I'm sure there is probably some spelling and grammar errors, but I'm sick of rereading it and reliving so of the things. Also, I might repeat myself, so I'm sorry for that! Do not read this if you don't like swear words or you don't like to hear about abuse and rape I hope you enjoy!

Over the past few years my life has had its ups and downs, just like anyone else. I started off dating someone when I was 15 years old until I was 19 who ended up having some abusive behaviors. When I was 19 years old I left him and started dating a really sweet guy. I ended up bringing some of the abusive behaviors into the new relationship. A year after the relationship ended I got into the most abusive relationship of my life with a thriving narcissist. In this blog I am going to explain the timeline of my most abusive relationship of my life and how I finally left. I will give situations of abuse I have been through. I am going to explain what it’s like dating a narcissist and what makes me believe he is one. I will explain what abuse I have endured and how it has affected me. The most important part of this blog, in my opinion, is what I have realized and learned from the relationship and how I’m getting better and healing for it. Now, let’s jump right in.

In January of 2015 after 3 years of dating, my ex, Arthur and I called it quits. We had gone back and forth trying to decide if we were going to get back together or stay apart. On and off, on and off! In early March of 2016 we finally decided enough was enough and we were just better friends and we wanted to keep it that way. That’s when my life changed forever!

After Arthur and I had called in quits back in January of 2015 I went back to my original gym, in Elkhorn! One of my best friends worked there and she became my everyday workout partner. We did everything together, we were each other’s support system, and we knew everything going on in each other’s lives. After about a year of being mostly apart from my ex Arthur, Olivia, my workout partner, thought I should start dating again.

In January of 2016 I made the first attempt. Olivia knew this super sweet guy and asked me what I had thought about him. I had no idea who he was, but I said I’d go out with him on a date. Now anyone that knows me knows that dating makes me very uncomfortable! I had 2 serious boyfriends prior to all of this. My first real boyfriend, Larry, who I dated from age 15-19 and my second real boyfriend, Arthur, who I dated from age 19-22. I decided to go on a few dates with him even though I was super scared and uncomfortable. He was very nice, but I just wasn’t ready to finally be over, Arthur. Although, I hadn’t seen Arthur in a few months it just didn’t seem right, so I stopped hanging out with the new guy.

Now this is where it gets a little confusing! Throughout the year of trying to get over my ex Arthur, I had been hanging out with my ex Larry. At this point Larry and I had been broke up for 4 years. I viewed him as a good friend, someone that always supported me and I could always tell my problems to. Our previous relationship was very toxic, but I had moved on from that. He had been in my life for a very long time, so I let him back in. Unfortunately, I did not notice right away that he was still in love with me wanted to be with me. Sadly, I was no longer in love with him, but I tried to be with him to make him happy. It was a bad decision on my part because I was still in love with Arthur and it only ended up hurting both of us. I had to go through this whirlwind of events to get where I am now. Now that you know a little bit about the past I can start explain how I started “dancing with the devil.”

This was my graduation day. The day before my 22nd birthday.