Timeline 9-CHEATER

I just want you to remember that right now I am only giving you somewhat of a timeline of how my relationship went. I don’t yet get into the details of abuse. later on I will explain more in depth of what it was like dating a narcissist. We were mostly together the entire time up until this point. There were a few weeks we were apart. I would try and leave him, but he easily manipulated me back each time. I would try and move on and hang out with my friends and Arthur, but he would pull me right back. With that being said this is one of the incidents that completely turned my world upside down, but first a little background information.

My abuser was very good at keeping our relationship secret. Actually, he was very good at keeping everything secret! He never posted a picture with me on his Facebook, he wouldn’t say that he was in a relationship with me on social media, and most of the time he would block me on everything. Normally, this wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but for anyone that kind of knows my abuser, knows that he’s a huge social media “guru!” He’s a so called “motivational speaker,” so for me this was very bothersome. I would constantly have people ask me why he was hiding me and when I would ask him he would just say that he wanted to keep our relationship private, yea ok! Anyways, my abuser, ex, asshole, whatever you want to call him, constantly had women commenting hearts on his pictures or saying things to him that I didn’t feel were appropriate for someone in a relationship. This went on for over a year! I cannot forget to mention that he was very secretive with his phone. I was not allowed to look at it or know who he was talking to. Normally, people’s numbers were not saved, if he got a text message it would not show up on his phone as a notification, he would not plug his phone in, in the car if I was in there, he slept with his phone under the pillow, and ANYWHERE he went he brought his phone with him. The only way you would know if he got a text message was if he opened up his IPhone and you saw a little red “1” next to his text message app, a little odd if you ask me. He also normally didn’t open text messages in front of me. SHADY! Now let’s get into the good part!

There was one particular lady on Dick’s Facebook that would constantly comment hearts on his stuff or he and she would comment pictures back and forth on things he posted. I told him I didn’t think it was appropriate and I didn’t like it, he blew it off like it was nothing. We had been fighting a lot at this time, as you can tell from above. We were still together, but we weren’t hanging out as much. On my brother’s birthday, April 26th, we were all celebrating and having dinner. I got a notification on my work Facebook page that this same women I was uncomfortable about had liked a picture that I had posted of my abusers son eating a hot dog. Dick was sitting in the chair in my living room and I had just walked down the hallway from going pee. I looked at him and said, “Why the hell does this women like my work pictures?” She was not from around here, she didn’t know me, and she didn’t know my business! His response was, “I don’t know I can’t tell her what to do.” I was pissed! We finished my brothers birthday dinner and my abuser and his son went home.

When they left I decided to go through this women’s Facebook. Sure as shit there were pictures that the women had posted at boyfriends house! At this point I was irate! I sent him a text message beyond pissed and told him not to talk to me. He then took his sons phone and started texting me, “Karlee, dad is really upset. Will you please talk to him?” Total fucking bullshit, plus I had texted his son in the past and I knew he couldn’t text as fast as I was receiving text messages off his phone, so I knew it was Dick sending them! I continued to ignore them. I was really upset and the next day I was at work. It was just my aunt Tammy and I. I reached out to the woman via Facebook messenger and asked her what was going on saying I didn’t feel it was appropriate for her to be at my boyfriend’s house. She responded to me that he had told her that he was no longer dating me and that I was just “too young for him.” He needed someone older like her, yea ok, I could maybe understand if he actually acted like a 37 year old and not a 13 year old! I was furious, I told her that I was calling Dick and figuring out what was going on. She told me to hold on a minute that she thought it was best if we talked first and figured out what was going on. I told her “no, I’m going to his work and I’m figuring this out” and that’s when everything came out.

She asked for my phone number and I gave it to her. I received message after message of him cheating on me. She sent me all the pictures they took together and told me every detail. The messages were disgusting. He had been telling her that he can’t wait to see her naked and again everything had to do with being “naked” just like he did when he started dating me. Classy pick-up lines! The woman told me that she had come here from Minnesota and they were taking things slow. They didn’t have sex yet, but she slept in his bed all weekend, she made breakfast, they went to other gym we had a membership at, but they slept in and cuddled (something he NEVER did with me) because he didn’t want to go to the gym early and see his EX! Oh, and I forgot to mention, he cheated on me on Easter weekend April 16th 2017! She made his sons Easter basket and they has Easter breakfast! What a holy man!

At this point I was completely disgusted. I can recall everything from Easter weekend. He told me that he loved me and he wished he was at my Aunt Tammy’s house with me. He told me that he missed me and that some lady was in town for work for the weekend, so he was really busy! He told his son that this lady was only here for work, she was just “dad’s friend,” and that was it! I feel like it might be kind of awkward for your dad’s business friend to be making your Easter basket, spending the night in your dad’s bed, and making Easter breakfast! How shitty to do to a 7 year old kid who has had “one” consistent women in his life for over a year helping to take care of him, obviously he has his mother, but another woman while at his dad’s house!

When I found out the truth I started balling at work, yelling “He’s cheating on me. I need to go talk to him.” I remember my aunt hugging me saying, “It’s ok. Calm down and go up to his office and talk to him.” I think this is when she really started hating him! I felt bad because it was just her and I at work, my mom wasn’t there yet, so I didn’t want to leave her. She insisted that I went and that my mom would be there shortly. On my way to his office I called my ex Arthur and told him he cheated on me and I didn’t want to live anymore. He said, “We will figure it out. Go talk to him and then call me when you are done.” I showed up at Dick’s work, balling. I started screaming, “You cheated on me.” He denied it! I started screaming more. His two employees got up and closed themselves in the other room. I told him that I received every text message from the girl and that I was done! He kept denying it. He told me that he didn’t have the text messages anymore that he deleted them! Of course you did, that’s what cheaters do! I don’t remember everything that I was screaming, but it was probably something about how he was a piece of shit. I was balling, so it probably didn’t make any sense anyways. I was so mad that I grabbed a water bottle out of the case and whipped it at the wall and it exploded. I went to my car balling which was parked in front of the bar. He came chasing me out to my car saying that he was sorry, but still denying it. I told him he made me feel like dying. He said “Don’t say that. I’m going to call that cunt right now and see what the fuck is going on.” I kept trying to close my door to leave, but he wouldn’t let me close it. He stood holding it open. He knew I had caught him in his lies! I finally told him I was done, I didn’t want to be with him anymore, and I was leaving. He walked into the bar to make me feel guilty like I was going to make him relapse. I didn’t care, I left! He called me telling me he was sorry and he was going to get to the bottom of this.

As soon as I left Dick’s work I called Arthur crying. He said, “Its ok, we will get through this.” I asked if I could come over and talk to him and he said yes. He was out in the middle of a field working with his boss, cutting a tree line. I parked on the side of Cobb road and walked out in the middle of the field and collapsed in Arthur’s arms. I didn’t know what to do. I loved Dick and was devastated. Over the weeks following the cheating incident Arthur helped me to get through it. We would eat dinner and talk about what I should do. He was always very supportive. He would tell me he didn’t think it was a good idea for me to date him again, but if I wanted to he would support me. Arthur knew how abusive Dick was to me, so he was just looking out for my best interest.

I don't have any pictures from this time as it wasn't a very happy time. This picture of my nephew and I makes me happy though!