Timeline 11-Everything's Turning to SHIT

I remember Dick telling me, “I forgave myself for what I did to you.” I was extremely hurt because he had done nothing to try and fix things. I had not forgiven him yet. I struggled every day to trust him and he would constantly scream at me, but I was just expected to get over it and move on. When he was trying to get me back he said everything would change. He wouldn’t hide me on Facebook anymore and I could look at his phone anytime I wanted. It was just a bunch of lies, but he only got more controlling and manipulative from that point on. I remember standing in my kitchen and having a feeling like he was hiding something from me. He was a notorious liar! I asked him if I could see his phone and he said I guess. When I started looking through it he instantly flipped out and started screaming at me. He told me that I don’t trust him and I’m never going to. He never tried to make me trust him again, we weren’t allowed to talk about him cheating! There was a message to a “friend” saying, “I saw you walking outside the bar do you want to get lunch?” There was no response from the girl friend and she could just have been a friend, but I had no idea. It was very upsetting to me because he could never go have lunch with me because he was always too busy working and he didn’t have time! Maybe he was just too busy “sexting” 5000 other women! I ended up giving his phone back and barley looking at anything. I was sick of being screamed at. Plus, I shouldn’t have had to feel like I needed to look at it in the first place.

From this point on everything went to shit. Every holiday was shit and every special occasion ended up being horrible. The cruise he bought for my birthday was supposed to be for December 2017, but because he ended up canceling it I decided to buy us one. I used my credit card miles to buy it. It ended up being shit too. He was crabby and mean to me almost the entire time. We both had fun playing at stingray city, but that was about it. On a cruise you sit with other people at dinner, people you don’t know. When we got done eating dinner the first night I asked him why he didn’t talk to anyone. He said, “These people are all just average and drunks. I have nothing in common with these types of people.” I literally wanted to throw up! Someone who says they are a “motivational speaker” is judging someone else based on the amount of money they have and the way they spend their vacation. Needless to say the vacation was shit and I was actually happy to get back home

The next big event that I can remember that fits into my time line was May 18th 2018, my birthday. On my birthday Dick and his mom got into a fight. I think it was about her moving back into his house. Now remember Dick never told me anything good about his mother. He told me she was a “cunt” and that she living off of him. He wanted to try and save money, but she didn’t make that possible. Obviously, I’m going to stick up for my boyfriend and if he says his mother is bad for his mental health and that he needs her to not live with him that I’m going to be supportive of his decision. From everything Dick told me about his mother, I did not like her. He told me that when he was a kid that she kicked him and his brother out onto the street to fend for themselves. He said when he was little boy he would punch him in the thighs saying, “Your fat fucking hammocks won’t fit your jeans,” He said that when he was in high school she started bringing home 19 year old men to sleep with and it made him uncomfortable. I don’t know if these things are true, but if this is what my boyfriend is telling me then I’m going to believe him and support what is in his best interest. Anyways, on my 26th birthday Dick and his mom got into a huge fight. He took it out on me and screamed at me the entire day and made me cry all day. That night my entire family was supposed to be going to Friday fish fry in Lake Geneva. He still wanted to go because he didn’t want to look bad to my family, but I didn’t want him to. He told me his son and him were looking forward to it though and wanted to be with me on my birthday, so they came with. I rode with him and his son to the restaurant and he was mean to me the entire way there. He ended up dropping me off and I once again told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore.

One of my past birthday's