Narcissistic Traits 39- Can't Take Feedback or Responsibility

My abuser couldn’t take feedback if his life depended on it. He took it as someone was attacking him. He could do no wrong! My abuser could never take blame. He would always say “I take full responsibility” or “I take full blame for everything that has happened,” but is actions were the complete opposite. He was excellent at manipulating and he even one time admitted it. It was my fault when he cheated on me because my ex and I were friends. It was his mom’s fault that he couldn’t get ahead in life because she was always living off of him. It was his dad’s fault that he was an abusive piece of shit because his dad abused him. It was his brother’s fault that he had to move back here and make his life horrible again. His brother literally got him off meth. It was everyone else’s fault that he was an alcoholic and a drug addict because they only liked him when he was having fun because then they could use him and drink off his tab. It was his mom and dad’s fault that he became an alcoholic and drug addict for giving him such a fucked up childhood and also his uncle’s fault for taking him to the bars when he was 14 years old. He takes absolutely no blame for anything in his life that he has done. In some way everything was someone else’s fault. It was my fault he was so negative and it was his son’s fault that he couldn’t get away from this town. He blamed his relapses on both his ex-girlfriend and ex-wife. He blamed his business failures on the alcohol and drug issues and also having to support his family and friends as they did nothing. He blamed his current business issues on his business partner not targeting the right market or just not caring about the business.

I do believe that a shitty childhood could lead someone to become an addict or an alcoholic, but take a little responsibility that it was your fault by putting the crack pipe or the bottle to your lips or for your business failing. If anyone tried to tell him something was his fault or he was to blame he would get pissed off. If someone had input on something he could work on, for example, parenting, he would freak out or take it as an attack. Narcissists don’t believe anything is wrong with them just everyone else around them, so I guess why would he be able to handle feedback. He never thought that maybe the issues stemmed from within him. Nothing was ever his fault and nothing ever will be. He will continue to say he takes blame or full responsibility, but he will always have someone else to blame everything on. Don’t be fooled, it’s not your fault. I’m sure having a rough childhood was hard, but he is an adult and can change his ways if he truly wishes to. Sometimes being able to take feedback in necessary for growth!