59-Realizing Before Healing

I now know I never want to be with an abusive person again and I will work hard to never get back into a situation like that. My self-worth is more than that and if someone wants to treat me like shit then they are not welcome in my life. I’m going to become stronger than I ever was before!

Healing takes a very long time. It does not happen overnight. I had to realize a lot of things about myself just to begin the healing process. I had to realize that it was issues within me as to why I was attracting abusive people, as you can see from above. It is not my fault they abuse, that is something within them that they have to control. I realized I took on abusive behaviors and never wanted to do that again. I had to realize that I had to work on not being judgmental because sometimes those are the people hurting the most that really need our help, besides narcissists they choose that life! I used to be controlling about alcohol and drugs, but even though I don’t agree with them maybe it’s a person’s way of coping with their issues and I need to understand that. Just as posting on social media was my coping mechanism! I had to realize that issues with my weight and looks had also created a lot of issues within me that caused me to be abused. We are more than our bodies! I first had to realize these things before I could even start to heal because if I didn’t I would have never know where the issues stemmed from. I would have ended up repeating the cycle. I have been doing a lot of healing and now I can explain that process.