Timeline 10-STALKER

I wanted nothing to do with Dick. I was moving on. Arthur and I were friends and I was just doing what I needed to, to move on in the healthiest way possible. For me, that meant not dating, not having sex, surrounding myself with people like Arthur who got me through hard times, and just focusing on myself. That didn’t work so well. That’s when the hovering began or in other works, “stalking.” Dick went on a work trip, when he was gone he decided he was going to fix everything. I still didn’t want to be with him, but he showed up everywhere I was. He would pass my work and see me there, so he would stop. If he saw my car at Frank’s grocery store he would stop. I switched times at the gym and he would show up when I was there. I switched gyms and started working out with a friend. He then started accusing me of sleeping with the married man. Let’s be honest, I’ve slept with four people in my entire life. Three of them were serious long tern boyfriends and one was a guy I really liked. I’m sorry I don’t just sleep around especially with married men. Anyways, the craziest place he showed up was my house. At 10-11pm I was in bed and got a call that he was at the basement door. Anyone that has been to my house knows that it is 3 stories, but everything is done on the middle floor. All the basement doors are always locked. He knew my parents were upstairs though, so he didn’t want them to know he was there. I got out of bed and went to the door and he was standing there. I said, “What are you doing here?” He came inside and got on his knees and started crying saying he was so sorry and that he wanted me to take him back. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to be with him, but for some reason I felt bad. I abruptly had to stop hanging out with Arthur because everywhere I went Dick showed up. I knew if I kept hanging out with Arthur that Dick was physically going hurt him and I didn’t want that.

My birthday is May 18th. He bought me a present, and it was the first time he had ever got me a gift, a year into dating! I didn’t want it, but my friend Olivia said she knew what it was and maybe I should give him another chance. He seemed really sorry and he wanted to do something nice for me. I felt bad and guilty because he was “hurting.” He came over to my house and gave me my present. It was picture of us in a picture frame, a letter telling me how sorry he was and that he loved me, and a Caribbean cruise that cost $4500 that he was making payments on. I started balling. He asked if I was crying because I was excited and I said yes, but that was the furthest thing from the truth. I didn’t want to be with him, but I felt like I was being pressured into being with him. I felt like he was trying to buy my love and I felt completely stuck. I loved him, but I didn’t want to be with someone who would cheat on me. Our anniversary was May 24th, he never knew what day it was, but that year he made sure to make a big deal about it. It was horrible, but I ended up working on trusting him again and I went back to him in June.

This was a card from my abuser's son. I would always tell him I loved him to the moon and back.

A few months later after he had me back he canceled the cruise and put all the money towards his business. He told me that his business was struggling and he didn’t have any money. That was supposedly his only choice to keep his business running. I was extremely hurt because work always came before both his son and I. At this time he also asked me if he and his son could move into my parent’s house with me, so he could save some money. He told me he would help pay for the bills, but it would be cheaper than living in the house he rented. I told him I would have to ask my mom. I did and she said she doesn’t care, but I have to ask my dad. My dad didn’t care either. He ended up not moving in because he said if we got into an argument he would have no place to go. Good thinking!

I also have to mention that after he canceled the cruise I ended up buying us one, so in return he was suppose to pay for our trip to Vegas in 2018. He agreed he would pay for the trip. When we got to the Bellagio the lady at the front desk asked for the payment of $800 for the room. He went to give them his card when he turned to me and said, "Can you put it on your card? I don't want that much money to come out of my account because then I wont have any money in there." I was pissed, but I gave him my credit card to put it on it. When we got to Wisconsin he did end up paying half of it back. He was struggling for money, so I didn't bitch too much about it.

The cruise I took us on