What I Learned and Realized 51- Kidnapping

When I was in 5th grade my great grandma was kidnapped. A family friend got into a bad situation and need some money, so he kidnapped my great grandma. She was kidnapped in the middle of the night in the middle of winter. Her kidnapper cut her power cords and put her in the back of her car. He parked the car on the side of the road and put her into a different vehicle. At first the FBI didn’t know she was kidnapped. They thought she had a stroke and wandered off. Her kidnapper ended up making phone calls and that’s when they realized it was a kidnapping and not a stroke. When they were starting to figure it out, I was not able to go outside for recess and I had to be watched at all times.

My brother and I were at my best friend Elsa’s birthday party when my mom called and said she was coming to pick us up. She showed up at my best friend’s house and said, “Grandma has been kidnapped and we have to go into hiding.” At this point, the FBI had been hiding in a cornfield at my best friend’s house watching my brother and me, so we didn’t get kidnapped too. We had to go into hiding because the FBI was afraid he might come after one of us. My mom, two brothers, sister, and I all drove to my grandma’s house to hide out. I remember making eggs when my mom said, “The helicopter is flying over the house. We don’t want the kidnapper to know where we are, so we have to leave.” We all packed into the car and headed to my sister’s best friend’s house. My siblings and I all went in the house while my sister’s best friend’s mom, Joann, and my mom went and hid the car down the road. I remember sleeping in Joann’s bed with my mom, Joann, and I think my little brother.

The next morning they still hadn’t found my great grandma, so my mom was taking us to hide out at my aunt and uncle’s house. On the way to their house my dad called and said they found her. My mom dropped us off at my aunt’s house and she went to the hospital to see my grandma. It was a very traumatizing event we all lived through.

As a family we didn’t really work through the trauma. The kidnapper went to prison and apologized for what he did and my grandma was alive, so we kind of washed our hands of it. I was only 10 years old and my little brother was 7 years old. We both had a very hard time dealing with it. My brother and I would not stay in rooms in our house alone. I remember my moms shower had a window up high in it and I would hide underneath it because I thought people were watching me. My little brother and I shared a room for a long time. My mom had talked to the school counselor and they said they were going to watch on us for signs of PTSD. The school counselor obviously wasn’t watching us very well because both my brother and I had a lot of issues with trust and doing things alone. I believe I should have been put into counseling right after this event happened.

My life coach told me that if we believe something we will push until it comes true. It’s kind of like manifesting our own destinies. With my grandmas kidnapping being so traumatizing I have always felt like I was going to be attacked, hurt, or kidnapped. I have had nightmares about being kidnapped for years. I actually use to make Arthur get up in the middle of the night and walk me to the bathroom because I was too scared, but I didn’t know why I was so scared as we had moved on from my grandmas kidnapping.

I am a very anxious, paranoid, and frightened person, which has only amplified since the abuse. I sleep with the TV on, my door locked, and my blinds always shut. I also will not walk outside at night and if I have to I will carry my car keys in my hand or my hands in fists ready to punch someone, like I already stated. I don’t like doing things alone and I don’t like sleeping anywhere, but my house. I will also check behind shower curtains even in my own house. With always feeling like someone was going to attack me or hurt me I subconsciously pushed for that to happen by attracting my abusive ex who would hurt me and mentally attack me.

Due to this issue I was also diagnosed with separation anxiety, especially from my mom. I don’t like being away from my mom. It gives me anxiety and if I go on vacation without her I always feel like she’s going to die. Separation anxiety has also made it very difficult for me to not be in a relationship. Even if it was a bad relationship I would stay because it was better to be abused than to be alone. I was literally afraid to be alone. My mom was always the one to make sure that I was protected and nothing would happen to me. When I got older and started dating I leaned on my boyfriends for that reason. I would date the first person that was nice to me and showed me attention. I became over trusting, I think because I wanted to feel secure. I have always become very attached to people because I feel as if they are my protectors, just as my mom was/is. I think this is why I’m 26 years old and still haven’t moved out of my parent’s house. I am afraid, but I know my mom is here and won’t let anything happen to me.

The kidnapping is one of the reasons it is so hard for me to be alone, but it’s getting easier! At this time, I actually enjoy being by myself. I made one of my 2019 New Year’s resolution goals to become more independent and do things alone and that’s what I have been doing!

This is a picture of my cousins and I. I don't know how old I was in this picture, but I would say somewhere around 5th grade.