What I Learned and Realized 53- Put Myself First

I have also learned that it is up to me to be happy and that I need to put myself first. I realized that I never say “no” to people because I’m afraid I’m going to hurt someone’s feeling and instead it is just hurting me. I have also always done stuff people wanted me to do even if I didn’t want to do it. It was just easier on me than upsetting them. I am a very loving and caring person, but I have to find the right person before I give my all to someone again. That is something that is very hard for me. It is also very hard for me to be alone. I had to realize the reasons why I hate being alone to be able to figure out how I can become independent and put myself first. It’s still hard putting me first because I feel I will also put those I love before myself, but I’m getting better at it. It’s like my sister said, “If she doesn’t put her oxygen mask on first on the airplane she won’t be able to help the boys put theirs on.” It’s very true; if I can’t help myself first I will never be able to help anyone else. I also realized that if you let someone treat you badly they will continue to treat you like shit. Set boundaries, and know your worth! It’s like saying no. If you say “no” someone might get mad at you, but in actuality they will have more respect for you and they will know they can’t just walk all over you. I have a hard time with it, but it’s something that’s very beneficial to self-love and putting yourself first. I also realized I am in control of my life and the things my abuser said to me were not really issues that had to do with me, but rather him. We have to make ourselves happy before we can make anyone else happy, so put yourself first.

This was my vacation to Belize. I was playing with some little girl that lived there.